I know this post is overdue – I promised a lot of you that I’d write it 6 months ago – when we made the move. I’m not going to lie – it’s because I’m innately an optimist, and I haven’t had a lot of optimistic things to say.
Don’t get me wrong – this move has gone much better than expected! Contradicting myself in the first sentences – yes, I think we can all tell how well this is going already!
The truth is, this whole experience is an exercise of contradiction for me. I was raised in a small town, moved to the big city, and I’m trying to figure out where I want to land in the “future”. (Which happens to be upon me!) After six months, I’m still not sure what the answer is… But some amusing stories to ponder along the way:
I’ve had some amazing and enlightening experiences since moving here.
I’ve also had some plain out weird ones.
There was “crazy eyes” at the grocery store – anyone seen “Orange is the New Black?” Yeah, I met the white, religious version of Crazy Eyes in the Fred Meyer up the street from us. I was just trying to get some organic lemons, and there she was – trying to grab my lemon. I was all “I’m sorry” and she said “Aren’t these beautiful?!!!!!”. “Yes” I replied, “they’re nice lemons.” “DO YOU HAVE JESUS IN YOUR HEART?!” she asked me enthusiastically!! (!!!!) I had ALL KINDS of ridiculous, sarcastic responses to give, but one look at her enormous, bulging eyes told me that wasn’t the route to go… (Nothing like getting “lemoned” to death.) So all I said (with nervous laughter) was “Wow. I’ve never been asked that in the produce department before…” To which she confidently replied: “I hope it’s not the last! My people are everywhere, and we’re recruiting!”
Then, a couple weekends later, Jared and I were going to the Pear Blossom Festival and we got stuck at a red light going downtown. So many things wrong with this. One – there are no pear trees left here that I can find. Two – when moving here everyone was all “it’ll be SOOOO nice getting away from the traffic!” I lived in downtown Portland, OR and it took me just as long to get across town as it does here. Only exception – rush hour traffic when there was an accident, at which point I would take an exit and scoot around it. We have two exits off the interstate in Medford – if you’re in traffic, you’re fucked. Also – the traffic lights here are WAY longer than any normal traffic light. Anyway, I digress. We’re stuck at a traffic light, and I look over at the “park” to our right (any patch of grass here that’s maintained by the city is called park) and there’s a man lying face down in the grass, like he’s about to do a push up. Only he’s not – he stays still. About 3 inches from the ground, staring intently. We inch forward as the two people closest to the light crawl through, (nope, no one in front of them, people in Deadford just happen to drive like my 80-year old Grandma. AND – that’s right, we sat through multiple lights. In Medford. No traffic my ass.) and now we’re closer to him. And I realize he’s just FUCKED UP on something (there’s a reason they call it Meth-ford!) and staring at the tiny community of dancing elephants he probably sees dancing in the grass.Also – we now live in the “Shirtless Man Capitol of the United States.” I had actually failed to recognize this until our friend Sarah also moved down here from Portland, and posted it on Facebook. Now I count every day – and in a town of 80,000, I’ve counted up to 8 in one day. I realize this is a relatively small percentage, but please factor in that we only have one car, and I was either stuck at home unemployed (small walking radius, because, believe it or not, there are a lot of places Jared doesn’t want me walking alone by our house) or working 8 hours a day once I got a job, so there’s only so many hours I can be scouting! I’m fully confident that given a full day, I could find at least 25% of the male population here shirtless and wandering the streets.
Aside from those (and other) individual incidents – there are a lot of great people here. I’ve already formed a book club (of women married to my husband’s old high school friends and my new work friends), we’re invited camping and to BBQ’s on a semi-regular basis, and we have a house to go watch football at every weekend.
I go back and forth – I was raised in a town of 200, and I credit a lot of my personality with the resilience I learned trying to stay alive there. (Emotionally and physically) Upsides to Kennan-type town: the community is amazing, and there’s something to be said for going for a walk and having every single person that drives by stop to see if you need a ride. (Did you break down? Are you okay?) I could never live someplace as small as Kennan again, but Methford is as close as I could get. There’s also something to be said for being someplace large enough to find friends that “get” you, a community that supports your interest, and being surrounded by the strain of though I want my child to have. (I.E. Portland – Not bigoted, accepting of everyone. Hell, their motto is “Keep Portland Weird.” I had trouble making friends in high school, probably because there were about 50 people to chose from, and I’m a bit quirky. That’s not to say I didn’t have a shit-ton of acquaintances – I threw a lot of parties, but that’s for another day, and off the record, so my kids can never find it.)
SO. The questions:
1. Am I happy here? Harder to say that you’d think – most of the time, yes. On a Friday night when I’d actually like to go out and do something? ANYTHING?! Not so much. When my husband urges me to use small words tonight on the way to a social outing so I don’t alienate our friends? UGH. (Medford friends – if you’ve found this and are reading it, rest assured, I’m not talking about you. I promise.) BUT – when we’re looking at amazing houses we could actually afford to buy, or talking about the public schools that I would actually send my kids to, it seems more bearable.
2. Should I deprive my future children of that “safe & boring” upbringing in exchange for the “civilized, bullet-dodging, embracing” community of a larger city? Who’s to say? Jared & I apparently…
3. Is Medford the shit-hole everyone warned me it was when we decided to move here? I’m undecided. I’ll let you know as I figure it out myself 🙂 One things for sure – the wine down here is amazing, and so is the surrounding natural beauty. And so is my husband – he’s the only person I’d ever embark on this journey with. Thank God for that. And for organic lemons.
whereswanda 